go team

I played a softball game today for the first time in about 13 years and it was bizarre.

When the idea was first proposed my heart started beating so fast. Will I mess up? Will I be bad? Will I blow it for the team? So I didn't volunteer. Then the team was in a jam and needed some players, so I said I'd do it. I vowed not to tell anyone the extent of my experience and go with the whole 'under promise - over deliver' policy.

So the day before husband and I went out and threw the ball around a little and I was surprised to find that it all seemed to come back very naturally. I mean, after so many years of practices, games and techniques being drilled into my head this shouldn't really be a surprise - but it was.

What does this all tell me. Well, one thing is that I need to stop worrying about being perfect and just have fun - I could be missing out on some seriously great experiences. Two, I love to compete so much I am afraid of loosing - but what is so bad about that? And three maybe I should play more softball.

It was fun to be part of a team again, a team who actively encourages each other. Even if you do ok, they appreciate how hard you tried. And if you suck, it isn't going to kill anyone. And if you do amazing, people are really really excited about it. It seems like a great way to build relationships and friendships with people - a win win all around. Oh, and did I mention I burned 800 calories?

All-in-all I realized I am 100% competitive. I am 100% an athlete at heart, and 100% need to 'just do it'.

a life full of living

The dipper is my absolute favorite bird and she represents everything I want to embody.

I first met her in Mineral King, watching her happily bounce, swim, hop, fly and...my favorite...lightly dance and jive her way up the river - all while singing the loveliest of songs. Most times she's alone and other times with her love, but always enjoying every moment she's in. She's naturally shy and a homebody at heart, but at the same time sings loudly and loves to travel. She has thick skin to handle the cold but loves the warmth of summer, has a delicate beauty and long thin legs - what more would a girl want? The men even love her...

"I have been making the acquaintance of a very interesting little bird that flits about the falls and rapids of the main branches of the river. It is not a water-bird in structure, though it gets its living in the water, and never leaves the streams. It's not web footed, yet it dives fearlessly into deep swirling rapids...what a romantic life this little bird leads on the most beautiful portions of the streams, in a genial climate with shade and cool water to temper the summer heat. No wonder its a fine singer considering the stream songs it hears day and night. Every breath the little poet draws is part of a song... Among all the mountain birds, none has cheered me so much in my lonely wanderings, —none so unfailingly. For both in winter and summer he sings, sweetly, cheerily, independent alike of sunshine and of love, requiring no other inspiration than the stream on which he dwells." - John Muir

Yes, what a romantic life.